Ask An Emo Archives

How to Become a Scene Model

Question Posted by XXsamie sicknessXX: QUESTION!!!!!- ok, ive always wanted to be a “scene” model right? everyone tells me i should. heres the thing, idk where to go, who to send my pictures to. most sites i find are FANSITES and not a site u send pics to so u can be a model. do U kno where i should go?

how to become a scene model

Answer: Breaking into the modeling industry takes a lot of work, scene or otherwise. For people with alternative styles, it’s even more challenge to actually make a decent living doing it because the market isn’t as vast. It’s really all about building your portfolio, building connections, and putting yourself out there.
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Question Posted by TheAwesomeOne: How do you stop your brothers from freaking out because you are changing to an emo look. I have always loved emo music but in the past months the clothes style has appealed to me and my four brothers noticed and are freaking out. What do I do and say??”

Answer: Dealing with parents who are freaking out about your choice to be emo and dealing with siblings who are freaking out about your choice to be emo are two completely different things. If your parents are fine with your style then, in all honesty, what your siblings think really shouldn’t matter. Here are some things that you can say to get the point across to them.

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If I Stop Being Emo Will I Stop Cutting?

Question Posted by Jessica Mesa: “im emo and i cut my wrists but my other friendz are emo but dey dnt cut demselfs all da tym lyk i do ive cut my wrist eva scence my brother died when i was 10 i love my bro but i hate life now sould i move on or keep bein emo???????”

Answer: While cutting has been branded as a typical emo stereotype, it is NOT the essence of being emo. If you believe that cutting is what made you emo in the first place, then you’re only contributing to the negative stereotype that causes so many people to shun the emo culture.

There are a lot of people who self harm who aren’t emo at all, both teenagers and adults. No one is immune to dealing with their stress in negative means just because they are not emo.

Just because you quit being emo doesn’t mean that you will stop cutting. If you are a non-poser cutter (hate to put it that way but that’s the only way I could think of to word it), then cutting has been hard wired into your brain from doing it so repetitively that you have no other way to mentally be able to cope with your stress. Deciding to suddenly not be emo is not going to make that go away.

It’s likely going to take a long period of discipline and trying other methods of stress relief to get you out of the habit of cutting when you are stressed out. Instead of trying to shed an image which isn’t the problem in the first place, try finding activities that you can engage in whenever you get super stressed out. For example, you could take a walk, work out, draw, play guitar, watch television, play video games, or sleep. There is no one size fits all solution to dealing with stress. Try different things until one sticks and can replace your desire to cut whenever you are stressed out.

If you stop being emo will you stop cutting? The answer is 99%  that it’s highly unlikely. Being emo is not the cause of your cutting, poor stress management is.

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This is kind of a special addition of Ask An Emo. I received an e-mail via the contact form a few months ago from someone who was particularly depressed. I think that my response may help others, so I’m going to post it below. For the sake of protecting this persons identity, their name shall remain anonymous.

Question Posted by Anonymous: “I GET SO DEPRESSED AND MAD…..and the only way to make me feel better is by cutting my self….why is it that sometimes i feel like killin my self??”

Answer: Depression and anger is unfortunately just a part of a life. It never really goes away. There will occasionally be events throughout life that elicit those types of emotional responses, and this is because life isn’t perfect. If you’re underage or live with your parents, this gives you a lot of added stress. Most teenagers don’t feel free, are hassled at school, have added stress that parents put on them in regards to getting good grades, and the added pain of having to deal with ever changing hormones and fluctuating moods. It’s alright to be depressed and angry and you shouldn’t feel added stress because other people don’t see that. No one knows your life situation entirely except for you.

Cutting isn’t healthy and I don’t support it, but I used to do it as well so I do understand why you do it and how it can certainly make you feel better. I’m not going to take the time to lecture about it because I know you’ve heard it all before. I’ll just say that you should really try expirementing with other ways to cope with your stress. It’s not easy to find a more sufficient way, but remember that if you live with your parents and they find out, the only thing that it will do is add more stress to your life and can cause a whole set of other problems which will only add to your depression and anger. For the amount of relief that it gives you at the time that you’re doing it, cutting really isn’t worth it. Alright, maybe that was a bit of a lecture, but you get the point.

I wish I could tell you that when you get older (if you’re not already an adult) you won’t feel like killing yourself anymore. Unfortunately with the added stresses and complexities of every day life the suicide rate is higher than ever. I can say with all honesty that even I think about killing myself every once in a while. Something really bad will happen or I’ll start feeling hopeless, that life won’t ever get any better, or even that the world would be better off without me. But then I think that if I killed myself, I’d never get to see if things would get better. You never know when success is right around the corner. And the truth of the matter is that, no matter how stressful a certain point in your life is, it will eventually pass and things will return to normality. Change is a constant in life.

If you are underage or live with your parents, I can safely say that things will get a lot better for you when you move out on your own and graduate school. Those two things, especially moving out on your own, are two of the largest stress and depression relievers that I can think of. So if you’re still living under your parents roof, you definitely have something to look forward to, and perhaps when you get depressed and stressed out you should start imagining what your life will be like when you’re old enough to do those two things. That’s not saying you should run away from home and move out immediately. Doing that would only cause a new set of problems. You’ll just have to tough it out until you’re old enough.

I hope this has helped at least a little bit. Just hang in there. And if you need to talk, feel free to hit me up in the Emo Connection forum(I hang out more on there than I do in the Emo Rawr forum) or comment on this post.

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Question Posted by G’Jacckie Rodriguez: “How would you explain this to your parents without them freaking out or doing something completely unnecessary and stupid?”

Answer: Many parents have a hard time coping when their children choose to dress the style of an alternative culture, especially parents of a more traditional background that grew up as preppies or jocks. A lot of parents think that the way that their child dresses reflects on how they are as a parent, which is one reason why so many parents reject the emo and gothic style of dressing.

Needless to say, there are a lot of hardheaded parents out there who think that the darker styles of emo and gothic are just plain wrong or represent that of mental instability or emotional distress. This isn’t always the case, but it’s sometimes hard to sway their minds otherwise.

So, how do you explain being emo to your parents without them freaking out? Well, the best way to go about doing this is to put yourself on their level. While I don’t usually promote lying, this is one case where stretching the truth will give your parents peace of mind and you the ability to express yourself without them being worried.

Explain the Bright Side of Emo

Probably the best way to educate your parents about what emo is would be to explain all of the positive aspects of being emo. You do not want to mention any of the negative stereotypes associated with the emo culture when you have this talk with your parents. I’m sure that if they have any knowledge of the emo culture then they will probably bring them up to you. When they do, simply tell them that those stereotypes are typically not true of emos in most cases, but that people took the problems of a few and blew them up to encompass the whole culture.

Try to convince your parents of the positive aspect of the emo culture instead of allowing them to focus on the negative. Explain to them that emo is a style of music that you enjoy and can relate to. Tell them that emos are people who are in tune with their emotions, both the negative and the positive and that there is nothing bad that comes from understanding your feelings. You could also tell them that the emo culture is one of creativity. Many emos enjoy writing poetry and playing musical instruments, which are positively constructive activities.

It’s a Phase

One of the easiest ways to gain your parents tolerance is to meet them in the middle ground. Tell them, whether you believe it or not, that being emo is just a phase for you. In 99.9% of cases, this is actually true. By the time you’re 25 (and more realistically long before that), you’ll likely shed any type of high school style classification.

You’re Not Depressed

If you are depressed, then you might not want to approach this angle of the argument. One of the biggest stereotypes that parents recognize in association to emo culture is that all emos are depressed. This is simply not true, and if you help your parents to understand that then they may be more tolerant of the way that you choose to represent yourself. Let them know that you are happy, and that your choice to be emo has nothing to do with you being unhappy. The more you can pitch this and make your parents believe it, the less they’ll be concerned with the way that you dress.

Explaining your choice to be emo to your parents can sometimes be difficult. After all, the culture has been well painted as something negative. Educating your parents, being patient with them as they learn to except your freedom of expression, and finding a common ground is the best way to ensure that your parents don’t completely flip out over your lifestyle choice. You may even want to remind them that they were young once too, and despite what they might think, your choice to be emo isn’t a form of rebellion, but rather a form of self expression. They should be happy that you’re choosing to express yourself via your fashion  style as opposed to doing something that may be harmful to yourself or other people. After all, it’s just clothes, and hair. and music. How harmful to anyone can that possibly be?

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